What Next, Corporal Hargrove? (1945)
[Band playing You're in the Army Now]
[Band playing The Caissons Go Rolling Along]
A few short weeks after D-Day, the allied
forces broke out of the Normandy Peninsula.
Most of the American army was racing
across the plains and fields of France toward Paris...
Most, but not all.
Man: All right. Heave!
Heave!
Come on, fellas! All together! Heave!
Cut it, Lupot! Cut it!
[Truck idling]
You know, this is almost as tough as basic training.
Well, it won't be too long till V-E Day. Let's just sit it out.
If I don't get this gun up on that road and catch up
with the battery, you know what's going to happen to me, don't you?
Yeah. You'll get busted.
That's right. I've been a corporal for 5 days now,
and I want to make it an even week.
All right, fellas, now, once more. Start it up, Lupot!
Here we go!
Heave!
Hargrove!
Yes, sir... I mean, yes, sergeant.
Where is Sergeant Hill?
Uh, well, he left me with the unit,
and he went on a reconnaissance,
and then we got shoved off into the ditch.
It was either them or us, and they were officers.
All right, keep trying to get started,
and I'll see if I can't send back a wrecker.
Send a mess truck, too, sarge. We may be here for days.
Now, we're headed for Mardenne. That's about 40 miles.
Here's a map, and I'll show you where it is.
Just stay with this road.
If you can't catch up with the battery,
check with the M.P.s handling the traffic.
All right, let's get started around here. Come on. Get busy.
Fighters coming in!
Uh, turned out to be our own, sergeant.
Fathead.
Now, use your head, Hargrove,
and don't get fouled up behind the German lines.
Don't lose your gun, and whatever you do, don't open fire
on anything or anybody that doesn't first open fire on you.
Right.
All right, let's get busy around here.
You know, he doesn't seem to have
much confidence in me, does he?
I wonder why.
Don't worry about a thing, corporal.
The crew is with youse 100%.
Thanks, Burk. Let's get going.
Lupot, when I give you the signal, you gun her like mad.
Everybody back to their original positions on the double.
"On the double."
I knew we'd get to that before long.
We'll get her out this time, fellas. I'll help you.
Heave!
[Everyone yelling]
Come on!
Keep it going!
Watch it, corporal!
Heave! Come on, push!
Don't break your backs on me, now.
Hey! Hey, come on!
[Men cheering]
Corporal Hargrove, sir.
We're "B" Battery, 352nd Field Artillery.
You're blocking traffic, corporal.
Get that truck off the road.
But, sir, we're trying to rejoin our unit.
I'm sorry, corporal. I have a priority column here.
Get that truck off the road.
Yes, sir.
Back in the ditch, Lupot.
Well, come on, Hargrove. Think of something.
Heave.
We're not getting anywhere on this road.
The battery might move again, and we'll never catch up to Sergeant Cramp.
Hey! Hey!
I think I've worked out a shortcut, though,
if a certain side road up ahead is open.
What's the matter? Don't you trust me?
Oh, sure. You're the corporal.
The intersection is plainly marked.
There's a side road
that goes directly into the town we want.
Well, here it is on the map. Look for yourself.
Burk: Corporal, you got something.
We're on a road now. That's good enough for me.
Are you going to defy an order
issued by the supreme commander of this truck?
No, corporal.
All right. By the authority
of the power invested in me,
we're going to take the shortcut.
Burk: Mais oui!
How is your French coming, Billy?
Get a load of this:
Ne cirez pas les bouts de ma moustache, s'il vous plait.
Hargrove: Wonderful! Hey, fellas, listen to this.
Go on, bill. Give it to them.
Ne cirez pas les bouts de ma moustache, s'il vous plait.
What does that mean?
It means "please do not wax the ends of my mustache."
Great, great. Well, from now on, you're staff interpreter.
I learned another one, too.
Ne decrochez pas les chevaux
parce que le patron a ete abattu par l'eclair.
What does that mean?
It means...
Do not unhitch the horses,
as the innkeeper has been struck by lightning.
I hope I come to something that's about girls or eating pretty soon.
Man: Ah, girls!
Eating!
You know, I wish you wouldn't get me thinking
about girls and eating at the same time.
It's very confusing.
I wish we'd stop pretty soon
and let that mail catch up to us.
Hey, yeah, you got some royalties coming to you from that book.
Who wants royalties? I want to hear from Carol.
She had some pictures made.
She's going to send them to me.
Pictures? He's got 12 of them now.
11.
Ellerton, you will appreciate these,
being a true artist.
Her name is Carol...
Men: And she lives in New York,
and she has brown hair and blue eyes,
and she works for the Red Cross.
Did I mention her before?
She's a swell girl.
Ah, you guys are just jealous.
Lupot!
Lupot: Yo!
Head down the road until you hit that intersection,
about 4 miles. We're going to take a shortcut.
Lupot: Yo!
I'll direct you from there.
Sergeant, we're not going into position
around Mardenne. We're moving on ahead of it.
The French have liberated the town, and other units will move in to clean it up.
Yes, sir.
[Snaps fingers]
Hargrove.
What is it, sergeant?
Sir, I've got one gun
and a crew back on the road... Corporal Hargrove.
They were stalled an hour, and Hargrove's headed for Mardenne.
Well, go on back and tell them.
Yes, sir.
Come on.
Lupot!
Yo.
That's the road I want up ahead, to the left.
Ok, corporal.
Oh, boy. At the rate we're going,
we'll catch up with that battery in no time.
Hargrove: We're headed for Mardenne, sergeant.
We're going to rejoin our battery.
Well, go ahead.
All right, go ahead, Lupot!
If we keep on going in this direction, sarge,
we'll be back where we came in on D-Day.
That fatheaded Hargrove. I wonder what could have happened to him.
Maybe he made a separate peace.
Come on. Let's get back to the battery.
Man: Nice landing, corporal.
Ha ha ha!
Boy, I ruined my tail assembly on that one.
Hargrove, what did you see up there?
Not a sign of the United States Army.
Didn't expect you would.
Why?
Well, it's just that I didn't see
any "K" ration boxes along the road.
Everywhere the army's been, you find those boxes.
Yeah, and there's no wire laid along here.
Hmm.
How's that, corporal?
Uh-huh.
You know, I'd know that uh-huh anyplace.
That means we're in trouble and we're headed for more.
Oh, I wouldn't say that. That's the town up ahead. I'm positive of that.
I'm just a little curious about what happened to the rest of the army.
Well, Mardenne is our position, and that's where we're going...
If I have to take the town singlehanded.
Burk: That's the stuff, corporal.
Hargrove: All right, let's get out our camouflage. Mulvehill, get out of there!
You and Burk cut down some of that shrubbery... on the double.
Hold still, will you?
It tickles.
Hargrove's right. We got to be camouflaged, don't we?
I may get the Chestnut Blight.
Well, we'll get a tree surgeon to spray you.
Hold it, Lupot. Hold it. Pull over to the side.
Not in the ditch.
Hargrove: I'm going on reconnaissance.
Hey, corp, you don't want to go in there alone. Let me go with you.
Men: Yeah.
Shh! Quiet.
I'm going to sneak up that ditch and see if I can't locate the battery.
I can do it much better alone.
Men, reluctantly: Ok.
Now, you stay here, and above all, keep quiet.
[Canteens clatter]
Quiet.
[Whispering] Hey, corporal, we won't make a sound.
[Children shouting]
The Americans are coming!
Man: The Americans!
Man: Get the mayor!
Get the mayor!
The Americans are coming!
Monsieur le maire, the Americans.
They're on the side road. They're coming this way.
Jeannie, do you hear? The Americans.
Get my hat and coat!
There's one cannon and a truck of soldiers.
I saw them plainly. The others will surely follow.
Jeanne: I want to go, too!
Come, come. Summon everyone
and bring flowers and wine and food! Come!
Man: Let's go! Come on! The Americans are coming!
Go on. Scat!
Get out of here, you little... You little saboteur.
Get out of here.
Go on! Go on!
Stop here! We'll greet them here!
And silence!
Perhaps we should go down the road to meet them.
No. We'll wait here and receive them with proper dignity.
Oh, it will be a brave sight... this big American army,
their colors flying,
music. Maybe they have their own band.
Jeanne: Yes!
We must give them a big welcome!
Voila! There they are! There they are!
Wait! Wait! Don't touch anything!
Is this Mardenne?
Yes, it is. Are you the American army?
Well, yes. I'm part of it.
[Cheering]
As the Mayor of Mardenne...
excuse me. A little improvised speech.
As the Mayor of Mardenne and as the leader
of our French forces of resistance in our district here...
I have many other functions,
but I don't want to mention it here...
I have the great privilege and great pleasure
to greet our dear friends,
our liberators,
the American armed forces!
[Cheering]
Well, thanks, uh... On behalf of myself, uh...
Well, on behalf of myself, thanks.
I thank you... ahem... too.
Uh, now, if you will come with me,
m-Mr...
Oh, excuse me. Oh.
Lieutenant.
Oh, no. Corporal.
Oh, corporal.
Oh, corporal! Oh, that's a very honorable rank.
I myself was corporal
in the last war in our glorious army,
so it's nothing, uh...
Now, if you want to...
oh. It's, uh... Oh, yes. That's my daughter...
Jeannie...
And corporal...
Uh, Hargrove, mayor.
Hargrove mayor... uh, Hargrove, mayor.
[Laughter]
Now, if you'll summon your comrades,
we can go to my house and have a nice lunch.
Man: Did somebody say lunch?
Just lead on, governor. Lead on.
Woman: Ooh!
[Crowd cheering]
Mayor: Here they are!
Of course, we knocked out so many tanks and vehicles in the first advance,
it was very difficult to keep track of them,
but I was able to keep track of what we destroyed each day.
I have a little list right here. Ah, here it is.
Uh...
Uh, 123 tanks, assorted sizes.
63 armored cars, that's including half-tracks.
236 trucks... Vehicles,
not counting horse-drawn carts or squad cars.
Of course, we owe all our success
to our leader Hargrove.
Oh, Corporal Hargrove.
Fine type. Wonderful man.
You can take my word for it,
he won't be a corporal for long.
Man: He's to be promoted?
Well, I can't say definitely,
but believe me, he won't stay a corporal.
Ah, what coolness.
Mmm.
What daring, what courage.
What an imagination.
Oh, imagination.
Oh!
Yes, those are the real qualities of a military man.
I can say it because somehow I'm in the same position,
but I...
Well, I wonder where the sightseeing party is.
They've been gone 2 hours now,
and they only paid for the hour tour.
Man: I think I hear them now, Monsieur Himmeville.
Mulvehill: Uh, it's Mulvehill.
M...Himmeville, yes.
Oh, yes, here he is... Corporal Hargrove.
Mayor: Oh, good evening! Welcome, corporal.
Hargrove: Quite a town you've got here, mayor.
And we have had a fine talk with Monsieur M...
Mulvehill: That's right, indeed.
Hargrove: You didn't sell them anything, did you?
Uh, well, mayor, Private Mulvehill is quite a good talker.
Mayor: Oh, yes. Where did you leave your comrades, corporal?
Oh, I wanted to tell you about that.
I saw a big barn down the road,
and Jeanne told me that it was empty, so if you don't mind,
I'd like to billet the boys there for the night.
D'historio's barn, father.
In a barn? Impossible. No, I can't allow that.
Hargrove: But I don't like to impose on you.
Oh, please, corporal. A man with your record, your achievements,
to sleep in a stable... I'm ashamed.
That would be an insult to our allies.
After all, Marion, if our good friends want to make us more comfortable...
excuse me, sir, but what has this con man been telling you?
Con man? What's that... con man?
Oh, con man is an American phrase meaning friend.
Hargrove: Oh, it does?
Mayor: No. Not a word. Come, follow me. My hat.
Hargrove: But, mayor, the barn is fine.
Ha ha ha!
Yahoo-hoo-hoo!
Mulvehill: Burk! Burk!
Didn't you learn any manners
with those French lessons?
Get your filthy feet off that spread!
Ahh!
Oh, you were going to get it fixed for us to stay in a stable.
What a fixer!
How do you like this?
You know, something's wrong.
They're treating me as if I was a big shot or something.
Well, that's your natural manner... very impressive.
You know, the mayor said you reminded him of a tall Napoleon?
He did? Well, there you are, you see?
They think I'm a visiting diplomat.
Well, just be diplomatic.
If you ever get stuck with anything, just call on me.
Yeah?
Especially if you get stuck with the mayor's daughter.
Yeah. I tried to kiss her on the way over here, and she said,
[Imitating jeanne] "No! It would not be fair to the corporal!"
What?
Jeanne: Corporal? Corporal Hargrove?
Uh-huh.
Look, tell her I'm not in.
Tell her I was called out of town.
Mulvehill: I will not permit you to
jeopardize my comfort, Corporal Hargrove.
Uh, the corporal will be right down...
Honey.
Oh! Hey, it's nice up here.
So peaceful and quiet.
Let's sit down, shall we? It's quite a climb to the top.
Sure.
Out that way is the next village,
where he have the fire and the cinema in peacetime.
Also, there are the school and...
There is a stadium for games.
Is that a fact?
Well, isn't that interesting?
Uh, you don't have a coat, Jeanne?
Aren't you a little cold?
No.
Are you cold?
No.
No. As a matter of fact,
I was thinking it was rather warm.
Also, in the village over there...
you know, speaking of the stadium,
you don't happen to know any recent American baseball scores, do you?
Baseball? Oh, it is a game?
Oh, wonderful game.
Is that the only game you play?
Well, no. Uh... But it just so happens
that it's a very close race for the pennant
in the National League this year.
You see, I'll explain it to you. There are 8 teams...
your friend Mulvehill,
when he walked with me, he tried to kiss me.
Oh...
Well, about the pennant,
the winning team then plays the winning team in the American League,
and that's what we call the World Series.
Of course, I would not let him kiss me.
Well, I should think not... that wolf.
Wolf? You mean like the animal wolf?
Well, it's what we call a fella who chases after girls.
Anyway, the world series consists of 7 games,
and the team who wins 4 out of the 7
becomes the world's champion.
But you are not a wolf?
Me?
No.
You wish for the girls to chase after you, hmm?
Oh, no, no. Not that.
Oh, but it is clear. If you are the wolf,
then you chase after the girls.
If you are not the wolf,
then the girls chase after you. What else?
Well...
You know, there must be some answer to that,
but, uh, I just can't think of it right now.
Isn't it, uh, getting awfully late, Jeanne?
Only about 9:00.
9:00?
Oh, well, I've got to get home to my boys.
They're my responsibility.
All right, Mr. Wolf.
Hargrove: Well, the battery must have been sidetracked,
so I can't say how long we're going to be here.
[Man speaking French excitedly]
Jeannie, help me! My wife, the baby.
We are all alone. I run all the way...
we must get Madame Godinot. Come!
What's he so excited about? His wife and baby are all alone?
No, no. My wife is going to have a baby!
Oh! Oh, well, let's go.
Hey, wait a minute. What do you want me for?
Oh, it is too far.
If you could take us in your truck, it would help.
Oh. Oh, well, come on.
She's in here.
Godinot: We will send for you in due time.
Man: Yes, madame.
Be sure and tell her to be calm.
And you, my friend,
my benefactor, am I not calm?
Well, sure.
Oh!
Yeah, you're getting calmer all the time.
Boil water!
Yes, sergeant! Uh, yes, madame.
Funny how she reminds me of Cramp.
All right. Up!
Soldier!
Yes, sir. Command me.
The water! The hot water!
It's boiling, madame.
Well, be quick about it.
Hurry up.
How do you feel?
I'm fine. Fine. Ca va. Ca va. I'm calm now.
Oh, good. Well, stay that way.
Uh, it might help you if you put some wood on the fire.
Ah, wood, yes!
Thank you.
[Door opens]
Hargrove: Hello. How is everything?
Oh, it will be fine.
I must have some clean sheets and towels for madame.
Oui, mademoiselle. Tout de suite. Tout de suite.
I can never thank you enough for coming with us
and for being so helpful.
Oh, that's all right.
Just don't tell the guys in the crew about it,
or they'll kid my ears off.
Here, mademoiselle. Take everything. Command me.
Jeanne: Thank you. Now, be calm, won't you?
Man: I am an icicle. I am a creature without nerves.
The water. Quick, quick!
Here, here. Let me do it.
Relax, now, won't you? You'll be a father before you know it.
Just be calm.
I'm calm. Monsieur, I am a man of iron.
You can inquire in the village.
Who fought the Germans in our guerrilla movement?
Who fought them with ferocity?
Who blew up their ammunition? Who...
[Baby crying]
Listen!
It's a boy, Billiet!
Oh!
Isn't it wonderful?
Aw, great.
Isn't that...
That's it. Just relax.
Mayor: We shall always remember you, our liberators,
with great affection and esteem.
Isn't that so?
Oh, yes. Very affectionately.
Well, you've all been very kind,
and thank you for everything.
Cramp: All right, let's break it up and get to rolling.
Crowd: Bye!
These artillery men seem to have softened up
the local situation for us, major.
Yes. They've done pretty well.
Bye!
Good luck!
Good-bye! Come back soon!
I located Hargrove and the crew in Mardenne, sir.
I thought you checked the road into that town, sergeant.
I did, but Hargrove worked out a shortcut.
He went off of the main road.
Against orders?
He was trying to beat the traffic
and join up with the battery a little sooner, sir.
All right, sergeant.
Yes, sir.
Corporal Hargrove reporting, sir.
You may go, Private Hargrove.
Yes, sir.
[Artillery firing in distance]
Oh, my aching back!
Oh!
Oh! Dig it, shovel it, scoop it, pile it, move it.
We've got to get this done.
It's a garbage pit, you know.
We've got to get it finished
before they get here with the garbage.
Looks like I've changed my garbage cans for this shovel.
I thought we came overseas to get out of all that.
Cramp: All right, let's stop the yakking and dig. Come on. Scoop.
What do you expect us to do, sarge, strike oil?
I expect you to get your garbage pit dug nice and deep.
And after that,
I got a few other chores around the place for you.
When you finish up here,
come on over to the ammunition dump.
You see, Monsieur Mayor, in these nearby communities,
we know very little about the civil governments which have taken over.
Now, for maximum security, we must have reports on those officials...
whether or not they can be completely trusted.
Your men can furnish us with that information.
Yes, I know, major, but you see,
my men have so much to do.
We have the fields and all necessary repairs
and the restoration of all the damage. It's very difficult.
Man: Oh, it shouldn't take long, Monsieur Mayor. Perhaps a week.
We can discuss it. Of course, I can't tell you the answer now.
[Speaking French]
Oh, no more for me, thank you.
Man: No, thanks.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you.
I was only wondering...
Wondering about Corporal Hargrove...
If he's located nearby. Is there any news of him?
Oh, yes.
Corporal Hargrove. Fine lad, splendid soldier.
You can see it immediately.
You know him, of course, major.
Corporal harburg?
No, I don't think so.
Corporal Hargrove, Monsieur Major.
Yes. He's the artillery man who stumbled in here the day before we took over.
That's him.
Oh, yes. Now I remember.
Created quite an impression, as I recall.
Yes, he became quite dear to us. Oh, what a man.
What a soldier. What a character.
You see, I'm an expert in those matters,
so I can tell you.
I would like to tell you...
about that other matter, Monsieur Mayor.
Just think it over. There's no hurry. We'll discuss it later.
Mayor: It was very nice.
Jeanne: Au revoir.
Good-bye.
Mayor: Come... Again.
Man: Come and get your mail.
Gilly!
Here!
Mulvehill!
Hargrove!
Catch it.
Thanks, sarge.
Hey, they're from Carol!
Don't go away. I'll be right back.
Here's a package for you, too, Mulvehill.
Hiya, sarge.
Cramp: Hi, fellas.
Hey, he's happy.
Must be reading about some new kind of shovel.
Ha ha ha!
Cramp.
Yes, sir.
Just what happened to Hargrove and Mulvehill
when we lost them back in...
What's the name of that town? Mardenne.
Oh, back there. Nothing that I know of, sir.
Ain't much I'd put past them. Why, captain?
Well, I've got an order detailing them
for military government detail back there.
Why, those shiftless slackers.
They didn't wangle it. This came through from way high up.
You don't know Mulvehill, sir.
I'd suspect him if it came from supreme headquarters.
Hey, Mulvehill!
Yes, sergeant. Yes.
Hargrove!
Did you want me, sarge?
I called you, didn't I?
Well, I'm, uh...
Not quite finished with the ditch, sarge.
Cramp: No, leave it.
All right. With pleasure.
Mulvehill, you parlez-vous any French?
Beg your pardon?
Hargrove, do you know anything about a transfer
for you two men to civil affairs in Mardenne?
No, sir.
Mulvehill?
No, sir.
You've been temporarily assigned to duty there.
Arrange to get them back, sergeant.
Yes, sir.
Oh, now, don't look at me, sergeant.
If I could fix transfers,
there's one I would have arranged long ago.
Don't look at me, sarge. It's all news to me, honest.
Naturally, if someone at Mardenne was impressed with our fine...
that's enough.
It's lucky for you two guys I can't prove anything.
Yes, sir.
Ahem. Uh...
Will I have time to finish my ditch, sergeant?
Get over to the Service Battery.
I'll arrange to send you back on a truck.
I only wish I could shoot you out of a 105.
I've got Hargrove and Mulvehill outside, major.
Who? Oh, the charm boys.
I thought we might assign them to the M.P. squad.
Then we can call on them
for liaison work whenever we needed them.
Good. Bring them in.
Hargrove. Mulvehill.
At ease.
You men have been in this town before?
Yes, sir, but we didn't do anything, captain.
You got to know the mayor, didn't you?
Yes, sir. We got here by mistake after they had
wiped out the German Garrison by themselves.
I guess they were pretty happy
to see any American troops... even us.
All right, Hargrove. Get on over to the mayor's house.
Tell him that Major Kingby would like to have 5 or 6 of the French
assigned to check up on these civil officials in the area. Got that?
Yes, sir.
Get going.
Yes, sir.
You can report to the M.P. headquarters, Mulvehill.
Yes, sir.
Let's see what happens.
[Knocks on door]
Oh, mon cher ami!
Oh...
Come.
Looks like the kid got action.
How do you like that?
I'd have been arguing with the old boy for 3 hours.
Then he would have told me
he'd like to talk it over with his colleagues.
Looks like it's all in the approach.
Now, why didn't I think of that?
Sergeant! Mulvehill, look who's here.
Oh, I hate to say this, but you're a sight for sore eyes.
How's the battery, hmm? How's Gilly and Burk?
What's the matter with you?
Very pretty!
Very, very pretty.
Now, look, we didn't make up this color scheme. We were issued these.
The sergeant doesn't approve of anything unless it's caked in mud.
What kind of a racket have you two guys got here?
What do you mean racket?
You think men of our character would stoop to swindle a deal like this?
I'd hate to have to count up to 3
while you thought it over.
Oh, sarge, now, quit kidding, will you?
Tell us about the battery. Are you still up the line?
Just for the time being.
We're cleaning the Krauts out all through there,
and the infantry's pushing up pretty fast.
We're going right along.
Oh, good.
We're on our way to Paris, huh?
We? Ha ha!
I was coming back this way, so I brought you some mail.
Hargrove: Thanks, sarge.
Well, so long, fellas. Toodle-oo.
Hello there. Ooh, I like your uniform.
It is so pretty.
Hargrove: Sarge, you're blocking traffic.
Well, let them wait.
I came to invite you to dinner.
Papa would like it very much if you would come.
Oh, well, I'm awfully sorry, but you see, I'm on duty now.
But Papa has already arranged with Captain Parkson.
It is all right for you to come.
Oh.
So it is all fixed?
Well, yeah, yeah. I'll come over later.
Oh, come early, and we will pick some flowers for the table.
Good-bye.
Ha ha ha! What a dumb detail!
Tisk tisk tisk.
You might strain yourself bending over to pick the flowers,
but Papa could fix it so you would get the decoration.
[Laughs]
Look, sarge, it wasn't that way at all. You see, she...
All right, so what?
My, isn't it dusty around here?
And will I get it from the battery commander
if I'm not crisp and dandy.
Well! Chin up, chaps.
Ha ha ha!
Go on. Just make a crack.
Make a crack.
[Bell ringing]
Oh, Monsieur Mulvehill! Good morning.
Monsieur Sutin, uh...
As the most modern, up-to-date,
and progressive merchant in this community,
I'm sure you'll be interested
in what I have to discuss with you this morning.
You don't even want to hear it?
The very latest in modern merchandising.
I am busy. I have the bread in the oven.
Oh, well, now, uh, maybe you'd be interested
in a sensational postwar plan
to turn this charming little village into a tourist paradise...
big hotel, gambling casino, the trimmings, you know.
Excuse me. My bread is in the oven.
I must watch my dough.
Parkson?
Yes, sir?
Got a job for the French here. Details are all in there.
See that the mayor gets it, will you?
Hargrove is due back any minute.
I'll have him take it right over.
Good. Certainly getting bang-up cooperation these days.
See that it stays that way.
Yes, sir. Oh, uh, this just came in.
It's from Army headquarters.
They think you're doing a great job
and handling the French situation brilliantly.
Anything else, major?
Not at the moment.
Yes, sir.
Hello, Hargrove. How are you?
Oh, I'm fine, thank you, sir.
Good!
Well, you look startled, Hargrove.
Yes, sir. The major hasn't spoken to me like that before.
Maybe the major is just beginning to realize your fine qualities.
Yes, sir. Sometimes it takes quite a while, sir.
Oh, take these reports over to the mayor.
Ask him to study them and let me know how he can help us. I need...
Well, what's the matter?
Oh, nothing, sir.
You're on good terms with the mayor, aren't you?
Oh, yes, sir.
His daughter isn't mad at you, is she?
On the contrary, captain.
That's fine.
Uh, captain, you see, on this job,
I, uh... I'm with her all the time.
Oh, tough luck.
Well, I've got a girl back home,
and I don't think she'd exactly approve
of these foreign entanglements, captain.
Hargrove, your conscience is clear.
Isn't it?
Oh, yes, sir.
It's in the line of duty, and I'm sure you've done nothing
to encourage this romance.
Maybe not, but on the other hand,
I haven't done anything
to discourage it either.
I'm afraid I haven't got much character, captain.
If you'd like to send me back to the battery,
it's all right.
Not a chance. We need the cooperation of the French here.
They're doing a fine job, and your liaison
work with them has been outstanding.
You might even get a promotion out of it.
Is that a fact?
If it's too much trouble, captain, don't even bother
because they always bust me in a couple of days anyway.
Uh...
While we're having this little conversation, captain,
I'd like to ask you your advice about something.
Do you think that if I told Jeanne about my girl back home,
that she would understand?
What?! Hargrove, if you do anything like that,
I'll personally see to it that you finish out this war
in the dirtiest job I can dig up.
Before you know it, the girl will be sore at you,
and then the mayor gets tough with us.
If that happens, it's permanent K.P. For you,
garbage detail.
Oh, no. Not that. Not garbage cans.
Just that. Now, hustle over to the mayor with these papers.
Get him to start on them right away.
Yes, sir.
Hello, wallingford. Sold any interesting gold bricks lately?
No.
Why don't you give it up, Tom, and live on your army pay?
Never.
Marion has told me how you are unable to swindle anybody.
It is too bad. I'm very sorry.
I will speak to my father.
Oh, no, now, none of that. I'll make good on my own.
Proud people, the Mulvehills.
You bet. Why, I've just begun to fight.
I'll put over some kind of deal in this town,
even if I have to give them their money's worth.
Oh, poor Tom.
I like him. He is a nice man.
Yeah, well, I wouldn't sign anything.
He has always told me very nice things about you.
Really? Well, I still wouldn't sign it.
You are worried about something?
Me? Oh, no. Nothing at all.
But you are grave and concerned. I see it.
No. I was just thinking.
Then I will be quiet and permit you to think.
I was thinking how quiet and peaceful this village is.
I'm happy that you like it.
It's going to be tough to leave it.
You are going away?
Well, I'm in the army, Jeanne,
and the company may move
or they may send me back to my battery.
You see, I haven't got much to say about it.
Then I will go, too.
You can't do that.
Oh, but I want to do that.
Look, Jeannie, you're probably
getting your emotions a little mixed up.
You feel the way you think you feel about me because of gratitude.
No. It is not gratitude. I am certain.
Oh, sure, it is.
It's not me. It's the United States Army.
No, not so many as that.
Well, it's the idea of the army.
The German occupation was pretty terrible for all of you,
and the army kicked them out,
and that's why you feel the way
you think you feel.
You are trying to tell me that you do not like me,
that you wish to go away.
Oh, no, I'm not, Jeanne. Not at all.
Yes. Yes, I feel it... Here.
You hate me.
Oh, honestly, I don't. Don't cry, Jeanne.
Yes!
Oh, look. Look, Jeanne...
Look, I'm not mad at you, and I don't hate you.
Now, don't cry. I'm crazy about you!
Good work, Hargrove. I like your devotion to duty.
Well, for a small investment in advertising,
the whole American army will be at your doorstep,
their watches in one hand, their money in the other.
Most desirable, Monsieur Himmeville.
Most desirable.
I see a huge army camp.
The men are unhappy.
Why?
Their watches are out of order. They don't know what time it is.
An airplane hovers overhead.
It showers leaflets upon them.
They run, they pick up the leaflets.
They smile, they laugh.
They come running to Marcel Vivin.
To Marcel Vivin!
I could buy new equipment,
perhaps hire assistants to handle the flood of business.
Well, of course, you'd have to enlarge the premises.
It can be done. It can be done.
Well, suppose we say a down payment at this time of 500 francs
just to get the campaign started?
Well, of course, 750 francs would be better,
then, when we see our advertising taking effect, why, we...
Marcel! Marcel! I have news. Wonderful news.
N-no. Everything is safe. We'll be rich.
Later. Later. Just think of it, Marcel...
all those beautiful watches safe in Paris.
Not now. We'll talk of it later.
But I do not understand. Why...
Oh, pardon, monsieur. I did not know...
no. It's quite all right.
Monsieur... Himmeville is our friend.
However, we'll talk of it later when we are alone.
Yes, I will go now. Good day, Marcel.
Good day, Monsieur Himmeville.
Yes, we'll talk of this later.
Well, that's, uh...
That's very good news. Congratulations.
Please forget what you've heard.
Let's discuss our advertising.
You will require 750 franc as a down payment.
Well, that is quite agreeable.
These watches... were there many of them?
It was quite a large shipment.
It came in just before the occupation of Paris.
We could do nothing except bury them in a house.
But let's turn to our advertising.
Monsieur Vivin, of course you realize
it will be some time before you can get to Paris.
Ah.
That house may be searched at any moment.
Oh, by the way, where did you say that house was?
It is centrally located.
Uh-huh.
Hmm.
No doubt you of the military will be in Paris
long before a civilian is permitted to return.
That might be.
If you know someone who would be interested
in the enormous profit to be made from a small transaction...
Well, I'll keep it in mind.
For a trifling sum, a few thousand franc,
a fine profit could be realized.
I have a diagram
indicating everything in detail.
Of course, you are a dreamer,
a visionary, like myself,
uninterested in money or profit,
but perhaps you know someone.
I do.
Now, don't tell anybody about this. I'll be right back.
[Whispering] Don't breathe a word of this to anybody.
My lips are sealed.
Now, will you listen?
There's a fortune to be made in this.
The First Army is headed straight for Paris.
The first chance we get, we scoop up this treasure,
and from then on, we're sitting pretty.
Look, it's no use. We're stuck.
I talked to the captain today,
and he won't let me go back to the battery.
Marion, if you go in on this with me,
I will personally guarantee that we will be sent back.
You will? How?
How? What? When?
I give you my word of honor. Isn't that enough?
Nope.
This is the scheme of the century.
Now, will you please shell out?
Oh...
Look, I'll...
wait a minute, Mulvehill! That's all the money I've got in the whole world!
Well, I'll try to get you some change.
Oh, quaint, isn't it?
Let me congratulate you.
Oh, yes. Thank you very much, Monsieur Vivin.
I have to run along now.
Au revoir, my dear Halberville.
That's Mulvehill.
Helmeville.
Ha ha. Yes.
Ha ha ha.
Hi.
Oh! I thought for a minute
you were going to miss out on a meal.
Now, don't be bitter, chum.
Why not? You not only walked away with all of my dough,
but you know darn well we're never going to get into Paris.
You know, I've been giving that a lot of thought.
Yeah, I'm afraid of that, too. That means more trouble.
Ah, "C" ration hash again.
You know, sergeant, this lacks but one thing to make it perfect.
What's that?
Chloroform.
Man: Hey! You almost bought it that time.
You know, I can't wait to get to Paris and those watches.
Ha ha ha.
What do you mean, ha ha ha?
Because you know we're never going to get out of here.
You better start paying me back some of that dough you borrowed
to pay for that map, too.
You know, I've been thinking.
We're stuck in this town because that girl's attached to you.
Now, uh, why don't we get the girl out of town?
Why? Because, you addlebrained idiot, she won't go.
And even if we get sent back to the battery,
she said she was going to follow me.
Well, it's all set.
She's waiting over at the house to say good-bye to you.
What?
Hey! This food is bad enough, bud,
without your foot in it.
Yeah, well, excuse me. Here, here. Take mine.
You'll love it. Every minute of it.
Tom, you miracle man. How did you do it?
Tell me, what did you say?
It was a cinch.
She told me she was going to follow you.
That gave me an idea.
I told her that would be impossible.
Then I gave her a pitch about what might be done.
She leaves tonight to join the French WACs.
Ah, that's wonderful!
I knew you would...
Man: Ugh! No!
You got that?
Hello. Operator? What's happened?
Operator!
The wire's out again.
Yes, sir. Check your radio.
Somebody coming this way must have tripped
over the wire and knocked everything haywire.
They'll get right on it, sir.
We haven't had anything like that happen
since Hargrove left the battery.
That's right, sir.
[Knock on door]
Come in.
Private Hargrove reporting, sir.
I should have known.
Well, welcome home.
I haven't done anything.
On your way over here, you didn't happen to trip over any wires, did you?
Well, as a matter of fact, I did,
but I didn't hurt myself, sarge.
Get back to your section.
Hi, sarge.
Ahem. I was just trying it on for size.
Well, get back to your section before I think of something else for you to dig.
Right, sarge. Right away, sarge.
On the double. I'm going.
Hey, are we still batting out congas on that roll over there?
No. We're shelling some strongholds the Krauts are trying to reinforce.
Ah! That's my meat. Here, let me at that lanyard.
That's for me. Here we go!
We finished that mission, Hargrove.
Oh, you point killer.
See if you can get fire direction
and find when the ammunition train will be in, Sergeant Hill.
Operator?
Gone dead on you?
Yes, sir. The wire seems to be out, lieutenant.
I'll run over to the switchboard operator and see what I can find out.
No. Let's get this wire fixed right away.
Yes, sir.
Hang onto that, Hargrove.
I'll get the wire section for Lieutenant Morley.
Ok, sarge.
You just missed it, Hargrove.
Fire direction said we dropped one
right on an ammunition train.
Mulvehill: And we got it without you on the sights.
Hargrove: Oh, well, that was just a lucky hit.
Oh, get him. They'd count it as a direct hit for you
if it landed in the same country.
Oh, is that so? Well, let me tell you something!
Man: Hey, Hargrove. Don't shout into the phone.
They may still be plugged into fire direction.
Oh, my gosh.
Hello?
Hello!
Ha ha! Oh, it's dead. Not a sound.
It's going to take them hours to repair that line anyway.
It's as dark out there as a supply sergeant's soul.
Now's my chance to tell the old man what I think of him.
Give me that. Ha ha!
Hello?
Hello?!
Oh, so you can hear me, eh?
Well, this is Mulvehill speaking.
Thomas Mulvehill.
Just plain Private Mulvehill due to prejudice.
Otherwise, I would have been
commissioned in the field months ago!
That's telling them, huh, fellas?
Listen, while you're about it, ask him why he broke the eminent Hargrove,
the best artillery man in all of France.
Yeah, and put in for a 30-day furlough for me, too, will you?
Yeah, uh...
Well, colonel, you just watch your step from now on, that's all.
You know, I wish this was a pay telephone. You know what I'd do?
Men: You'd call your girl.
I guess it sort of shows on me, doesn't it?
Well, I would. I would call Carol,
and I'm not ashamed of it either.
Man: Nothing to be ashamed of, kid.
Of course it isn't. Nothing whatever.
I didn't say a thing.
Well, don't.
Oh, I'm sick of trying to dig my way into Berlin.
I'm tired, and I'm cold, and I'm homesick.
I'm sick of these foxholes.
I'm sick of "K" rations.
And, oh, brother, how sick I am of the way I smell!
Ha ha!
You know, I wish I could talk to Carol, though.
You got a phone. Go ahead.
Don't be silly. You can't...
Uh...
By George, I will.
Hello, operator. Get me Regent 6-6599.
Deposit 364 bucks, please.
Oh, yeah, would you hurry, operator, please?
Hello? Hello, Carol.
Love... 3,000 miles away with a dead telephone,
and he gets the number in a second.
He sure makes a sucker out of Marconi.
Oh, shut up, will you?
Hello, Carol.
I, uh... I'd like to say a lot of things to you,
but I can't very well because I'm with a bunch of the guys,
but I just wanted to talk to you because I miss you so much.
I, uh... I don't like being so far away from you, honey.
I wish I could be nearer to you so I could see you once in a while
and, well, where I could sort of look forward
to seeing you the rest of the time.
You know, I, uh...
I wish I could just sort of reach out and... and touch you.
Here's Baker's trunk line. You splice it.
Right.
Give me Sergeant Hill's line.
You sure that's it?
Yeah, yeah. That's it.
We'll have to change the direction of our fire to around 1800 mils, Drake.
Now, that should bring us nearer the center of our sector.
That fool phone keeps holding us up.
Maybe I can get right through to your battery. Is this your computer?
Man: Yeah, but I think that line's out, too.
Hargrove: Yeah, well, good night.
Good night. Parting is such sweet sorrow
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
Sleep dwell upon thy eyes, peace...
man: Hey, better cut it short.
Oh, yeah. Well, Carol, we better hang up now
because this phone might be hooked up with headquarters,
so now a lot of brass hats might be eavesdropping.
So good night, precious.
Man: Good night, lover!
Good... What?
[Band playing The Caissons Go Rolling Along]
Hargrove: All right, men, on the double. Let's unload this. On the double!
You know, when they make you a corporal,
it doesn't go to your head; It goes to your vocal cords.
Hargrove: Come on! All the way.
All the way. Drop it. Put her down.
Hey, Paris is out there somewhere.
That's for me.
You hear that, Hargrove? Paris is out there somewhere.
Paris! The city of wealth.
Ah, the Germans are out there, too.
Let's get this ready to fire.
All right, men, on the double. Ellerton, get the ammo.
There we go. Spread it.
He's all corporal, isn't he, sergeant?
Sure is. He ain't the coolest head in the battery,
but he tries hard.
How did he work out when we tried him at the observation post?
All right. Promoted him to sergeant after that.
Yeah, I remember.
2 days later, he was busted for backing a truck
right into the division C.P.
But he was all right in the observation crew, sir.
Well, we'll try him again.
We're short an instrument operator,
and he probably knows enough procedure to fill the bill.
Yes, sir.
Get your aiming circle set up.
Hello.
You think that we'll get into Paris tomorrow, sarge?
Well, I don't know. I haven't gotten my report
from General Eisenhower yet today.
Hargrove, been talking to the old man about you.
Uh-oh. You want to cut them off yourself?
No, not yet.
Do you suppose you could work in an observation post again
without gumming up the whole campaign?
Oh, sarge. That's my meat. "Eagle-eye Hargrove," they call me.
Keep digging.
I want to check with our liaison officer here.
Hello, captain. What's the best place around here for the O.P.?
Well, I think about 500 yards up the road and to the right.
That ought to give you a pretty good range of vision.
Can darn near see our guns from that high a ground.
Any cover up there?
There are 2 or 3 shot-up tanks and a house or 2.
Ok. We'll be up there somewhere.
You have any missions for us, contact us by radio.
Right. And, uh, keep your eye open for some Kraut stragglers.
We bypassed a lot of them in the woods.
They may drift back your way.
Thanks, captain.
Go on about 300 or 400 yards, Hargrove. Keep to the right.
They're moving up some more artillery.
We've got to spot it and knock it out fast.
Lieutenant, how about that?
Man: No, that's no good.
When you've been at this a little longer, Hargrove,
you'll realize that if a spot for an O.P. Looks good to you,
it will look just as good to the enemy.
They'll shell your ears off every time.
We'll have to get up along that ridge and find a hole somewhere.
Let's go.
[Incoming missiles]
[Explosions]
There goes your cozy nook, Hargrove.
I can pick them, can't I?
It's ok. You'll learn.
Come on. Let's find...
oh, lieutenant, it was a pretty punk idea about that house before,
but maybe it's better now.
They've hammered it pretty hard already,
and they probably figure they've knocked out whatever was in there.
Well, it's only a suggestion.
It's not bad. Let's try it.
Hargrove: There's some of their artillery, lieutenant.
Can we get fire direction, sergeant?
Just a minute, sir.
Operator.
Give me fire direction.
Just a minute.
I have fire direction, lieutenant.
Fire mission.
Fire mission from Baker O.P.
Coordinates...
8-0-4 point niner.
Coordinates 8-0-4 point niner.
Dash 1-6-3 point 7.
Concentration 2-7-6, Battalion Baker.
3 volleys. Set a range.
Battery right.
Elevation 3-6-0.
Set.
Ready.
On the way.
300 left. Repeat range.
Right 4-8-3-6-0.
Fire!
On the way.
5-0 short. Fire for effect.
Baker's firing.
Battalion is firing.
It's amazing how good the battery is,
considering I'm not with them.
Request intermittent harassing fire
on road intersection just fired upon.
No, there's nothing moving now.
Oh, this is terrible.
Oh, no, no, sir. I didn't mean you.
Hargrove.
Stop eating while you talk on that phone. You'll have them firing on us.
Hargrove: Yes, sir. I'm all through.
I'll take it.
Better keep an eye peeled toward the woods
once in a while, Hargrove.
A Kraut patrol might sneak up on us.
No. Not on me, they won't.
There's some more flashes. That's a new position.
Hey, Lieutenant! Staple!
Ok, Hargrove.
Where are you, Staple?
Staple: I guess I'm all right.
Hello?
Hello? Operator?
It's dead.
Must have got our wire that time.
Almost got my wire, too.
Try the radio.
Well, we'll try what's left of it, sir.
Hargrove, you get back to the battery.
Yes, sir.
Give them these coordinates on that last position.
Yes, sir.
Get another radio. Staple, you stay here with me.
We'll try to get our wire back in.
Yes, sir.
And, Hargrove, be careful.
Yes, sir.
Halt!
It's me... Hargrove. Don't shoot.
Give the password.
Um... I'm trying to think of it.
That proves it's Hargrove, all right.
Oh, I got it! It's Lana Turner.
Ok.
Lieutenant Dillon wants you to blast away
at coordinates 805.1-163.8. You got it?
I'm going to get right over to fire direction
and check on your mission.
Wait a minute, sarge. Our radio and wire were knocked out,
and the lieutenant wants me to get another radio and come right back.
Get Hargrove the radio. He's got to get back to the O.P.
Come on! Don't sit there with egg on your face!
Get what the man wants! Hustle!
Right away, sir.
Ah, this is worth fighting for.
[Distant artillery fire]
I wish Hargrove would get back.
He made the battery, all right.
They're opening up on the coordinates he gave them now.
Good. Good.
But I wish he'd get back in with that radio
so we can keep in touch with the battery.
Sir, we'd better get out of here.
They'll have this place pulverized soon.
I think you're right. Let's go.
[Softly] It's me... Hargrove.
Here. Hold this gun, will you?
I thought for a minute you'd gone.
Do not make a noise.
You are a prisoner. Put that down.
Now you will tell us what we want to know.
Where are your headquarters located?
About 300 yards to the right.
What's wrong with that lamebrain?
Hargrove: Maybe I was off a little bit on that one.
It's more like 400 yards to the right.
He's giving us the correction on our last round,
but something's wrong.
Somebody's up there with him.
Baker, take that as a sensing.
Left 72420.
How far are your front lines?
You're right on top of them.
That did it. That's the range.
That kid's gotten himself captured,
and he's giving us the range right under their noses.
We will start now, and you will go with us.
Oh, you won't be needing me.
But we'll take you,
and in case we should encounter any difficulties,
we will deal with you first.
Wonder what Hargrove's up to.
He should have been back a long time ago.
Shh!
What is it?
Only one of them has a gun.
We can handle them.
Look out for Hargrove.
Uh, we'd better go this way.
We got to watch out for the mines.
Good.
Duck, Hargrove!
[Speaking German]
Sorry I took so long, lieutenant.
Well, there I was, coming up to the O.P.,
and on the inside was this flock of Germans, armed to the teeth,
but did that stop me?
Frankly, no.
I crept up to
one of the broken windows.
I looked in,
and I sized up the situation.
It was only all too...
[Explosion]
It was all too plain that
they outnumbered me completely.
I didn't know what to do, so...
so you gave the Germans your own gun
just to even things up.
Oh, sergeant, have you been listening to that Nazi propaganda again?
I'm surprised at you, taken in like that.
You believe me, don't you?
Oh, I like that.
So you gave the Germans your gun.
You'd have probably sold it to them!
Cramp: All right, let's cut out the chatter and get back to work.
Come on. Let's go.
Yahoo! We made it! Paris!
[Cheering]
We're rich!
♪ Paris, I hope to know ya ♪
♪ Paris ♪
Hey, fellas, look! Hey, look!
"Paris 12 kilometers!"
[Cheering]
Prosperity is just around the corner.
Oh, boy! Champagne, eats!
Me for the museum!
I'm going to take a big fat hot bath!
A stroll down the boulevard with a girl.
[Laughing]
To my left, the Arc de Triomphe.
Triumphal arc.
Isn't that wonderful?
What street are we on?
Champs-elysees.
Une femme de Paris.
Girl.
La place de l'opera.
Et across la rue, le cafe de la pain.
Across?
Yeah, like I was saying.
Voila!
Hey, the Ritz! C'est une...
Hotel.
Where are we now?
Dans le suburbs.
What does that mean?
In the suburbs.
In the suburbs!
Yeah!
Are you kidding?
Why didn't you say something?!
In the suburbs!
♪ The last time I saw Paris ♪
♪ Her heart was warm and gay ♪
Hey, fellas... Look.
"Paris 16 kilometers."
That's the quickest tour of Paris on record.
Yeah, and I didn't even get to go past the museum.
Business before pleasure, guys.
We got to keep them on the run.
What do you want to do, stop for sightseeing
and expect the Germans to wait for us?
Ah, shut up!
Burk is right, absolutely right, 100% right.
Well, mastermind, what about our Parisian investment?
I'm thinking.
What more do you want?
My money.
Money.
All you ever think about is money.
Good evening, sergeant. Why don't you give us a hand?
I can do better than that.
We're moving out of here.
That's great. We can drag these guns around some more.
Lieutenant, the captain told me to tell you
the battery's been ordered back to a rest area.
We're to be ready to move out of here as soon as possible, sir.
Rest area! That's what... did you hear...
a rest area! Hey!
Movies! Hot water! Loafing.
How do you like this crooked army?
Rest area. "Go to a rest area.
"You look tired, my boy.
Have a nice rest... In a rest area."
Well, I'm in a rest area!
Why don't we sneak back to the front lines and get some rest?
The army promised me a rest, and I'm going to get it.
Hargrove: How?
I don't know how, but I'm thinking.
You know what burns me?
Here we are, just a little ways from Paris. Paris!
Do you know that we'd be rich
if we could only get to Paris for a few hours?
Ha ha ha!
The army's not going to make a sucker out of me!
I'm going to find Sergeant Cramp
and tell him exactly where to get off.
Cramp: Hey, Mulvehill!
Get some arm into that job!
You bet, sarge.
That's telling him.
Sergeant, it wouldn't do any harm
if you were to give Hargrove and myself a few hours off.
We have some very important business in Paris.
Sure, sure.
Then when we get back,
we could tell all the fellas about it.
It's almost as good as letting the whole battery go.
Of course, if you want me to bring you something back...
perfume, silk stockings.
Not for personal use, of course. Ha ha ha!
You'll find me a very effective purchasing agent.
No passes.
Aw, now, sergeant! This is a matter of life and death!
Not a chance, Mulvehill.
It just so happens, Private Mulvehill,
that when you came in here,
I was just wondering which 2 men
I could send out on a little detail...
matter of loading a truck with some supplies.
It just so happens that I've come to a decision.
Yep. You and Hargrove.
Why, you...
well, how do you do, chaplain?
Cramp: Evening, chaplain.
Sergeant.
Get a 3/4-ton truck ready to roll,
and you and Hargrove stand by.
Yes, sergeant. Ha ha.
I have an idea, sergeant,
I kept Private Mulvehill from using
some very violent language just now.
I wouldn't be a bit surprised, chaplain.
Now, with all the rations and supplies,
you ought to have a pretty good truckload.
When you get back here,
unload everything at Service Battery.
You'll find the quartermaster railhead
right along that road. You got it?
Sure, I got it.
Ok, let's hustle!
Hey, sarge, do me a favor, will you?
What is it?
If we have ice cream for dessert,
carry mine extra-hard and keep it cold for me.
There's a road up ahead.
We'd better look at this map again.
You stick to driving.
Last time you looked at a map,
you practically steered us out of France.
Oh, sorehead.
Hey, Mac! Which way to the Q.M. railhead?
Follow us. We're going there, too.
Good deal. You see, it's a cinch.
We fall in at the end of this column,
ah, we don't need this anymore.
Well, drive on!
I sure wish you hadn't torn up those directions, Tom.
Cramp said that it wasn't very far.
Will you take it easy? This whole column's headed for the railhead.
You heard the man say so yourself.
Yeah, I know, but...
forget it.
[Whistle blowing]
I don't see "pretty baby."
Hey, what happened to "pretty baby"?
I don't know, precious. Did you lose her?
He must mean one of those trucks
that turned off back at the railhead.
Turned off? Where? When?
Where are we now?
In Paris. Out of the way, boys. We're rolling.
Hey! I know what we can...
it's no good.
Wait a minute! Why don't we...
nope. That won't work either.
Look, will you quit thinking out loud?
You got me going up and down like an elevator.
Well, the best bet is for us to lie low till daylight.
Then we can go out of the city like we came in.
We can always tell Cramp we had engine trouble.
Cramp will fix our engines, too. You know that.
But I guess that is the best thing to do.
Have you got a piece of paper?
I'll mark down the road that we took coming in.
That's a good idea. Here you are.
What is this, a map?
A map? Let's see.
Ho ho! I'll say it's a map!
That's the location of that stuff I bought from the jeweler.
This is going to make us rich when we get to Paris.
Paris.
What am I saying? We're in Paris!
Look, will you not get so excited?
We're not going on any treasure hunts.
What's the odds we're here?
We can't budge till daylight.
Hargrove, destiny brought us here.
Fate intended for us to make some money.
An inscrutable higher wisdom
guided us to this spot.
Mulvehill, will you listen to me?
We're in enough trouble already!
Hargrove, don't fight destiny.
Drive on.
[Starts engine]
Shh. Shh.
23. This is it.
Go ahead.
Me?
Well, you're not a silent partner.
I couldn't fit through there.
Besides, you can make it easy. Go ahead.
I'll pass you the shovel and flashlight.
You mean I have to dig it up all by myself?!
Don't quibble about technicalities.
Are you scared?
No. I shake like this all the time.
You keep a watch out.
If anybody comes, give me a signal.
Yeah.
[Thump]
Hey, you hurt?
That first step is a killer.
Well, here. Start digging.
You'll loosen up.
[Clang]
Ouch!
[Yawns]
How's it coming?
It looks like the Panama Canal down here.
All I found is 2 more blisters.
Listen, maybe you're just skimming the surface.
Why don't you dig down a little deeper?
I'd like to skim you.
Hi.
Who's down in that cellar?
Oh, nobody. I'm just looking for something I dropped.
Hargrove: You'll have to talk louder, Mulvehill.
I can't hear you.
That's what I dropped.
You see, sir, we can explain.
We were just looking for something that belonged to us,
something we bought.
23 Avenue Court, eh?
You men ever stationed in a town called Mardenne?
Yes, sir.
Ever have any dealings with a man named Vivin?
Yes, sir. He's the one that sold us the watches.
You see, I have a bill of sale here
entitling me to any watches
found in the cellar of 23 Avenue Court.
I know all about it.
You're the third bunch we found digging up that cellar.
You've been swindled, Private Mulvehill.
[High voice] Me?
[Normal voice] Me?
That's just what I mean.
In the future, private, don't be such a hick.
Don't fall for every con game that comes along.
No, sir.
Let's see your passes.
Hargrove: Our passes?
Yes, your passes.
Oh, Paris.
Paris, city of love.
And here I am.
I dig a cellar, and I wind up in a cell.
And to whom am I indebted
for this rare experience?
T. Mulvehill, mastermind!
That's right. Kick a man when he's down.
You don't have to get down. Just bend over.
Is it my fault they didn't believe the story
of how we got to Paris?
I told the M.P. sergeant, I told the lieutenant,
I told the captain, I told the major.
All they did was laugh at me.
Well, I don't blame them.
It sounds crazy to me.
I don't see why they should believe it.
Well, I swore on my honor!
You'd think they'd believe that.
Ha ha ha!
Man: Good evening, chaplain. How are you?
Hey, there's the chaplain!
Oh, the chaplain. I guess he goes along with a firing squad, huh?
No, dummy. Our chaplain.
Hey, he's coming this way.
I'll hail him. Maybe he can help us out.
Hargrove: Oh, forget it.
Oh, uh, chaplain.
Mulvehill, what are you doing in there?
I'm in trouble, chaplain.
I can see that.
As a matter of fact, Hargrove and myself are both in trouble,
and if I could just talk to you for a minute,
I could explain it. Honest, chaplain.
Oh, please, chaplain.
All right.
Aw, thanks, chaplain.
Oh, what's the use?
We've told that story so many times
that even I don't believe it.
It's pretty thin.
It's not very convincing, is it?
You know, Mulvehill, it's really a pity.
This is probably the first time in your whole life
that you haven't told the truth.
Mulvehill.
Yeah, that's me!
Hey, now don't desert the ship.
I got a good idea.
I realize you didn't leave a combat zone, Mulvehill,
but you're in this area without a pass,
and I don't think I should interfere.
According to the law, chaplain, you're right.
There's no doubt about it,
but we wouldn't have done a thing like this
unless it was very important.
If you could have seen Hargrove,
the way he was suffering.
Suffering? What about?
Tossing and turning, not able to sleep.
What was wrong with him?
W...
No. No, chaplain. You're right.
It isn't fair to burden you with this.
Don't be ridiculous, Mulvehill.
Perhaps I can help.
Well, it's a girl.
Not just a girl, but the girl.
It's such a beautiful love
that just being a party to it has purified me.
Well, she was in Paris.
She wanted to see Hargrove.
She needed him, and he couldn't get here,
and it was driving him crazy,
and this just seemed to be the only thing to do
to keep Hargrove from cracking up entirely.
We only needed a few hours
for them to get married.
That's very touching.
Of course, if somebody cared about the happiness
of just 2 plain kids, it would be different,
but this is the army...
big, heartless, impersonal.
Ah, I guess it has to be.
Oh, I wouldn't say that, Mulvehill.
Oh, no, they're right.
We broke regulations. We have to suffer for it.
I must say, Mulvehill, it's splendid of you
to become involved in your friend's difficulty.
It's very gratifying.
That's my nature. I'm Irish, you know.
Just a big sentimental fool.
Wait here, Mulvehill.
I can't believe it! We're out! And we got a pass!
The chaplain took a shine to me, I guess.
He squared it with the M.P.s
by personally guaranteeing our return to the battery,
and we don't have to be back till tomorrow night.
Isn't that wonderful?
He said he'd square it with Cramp, too.
Tom, I, uh... I owe you an apology.
I was a little rough on you
back there in that jail.
You were excited. Forget it.
You don't owe me a thing...
Except maybe some money.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
We're going to see Paris and have a whale of a time.
Look, I've got a guidebook.
"The educational and cultural possibilities of Paris
"for the soldier on leave are truly boundless.
"The museums, the art galleries, the libraries...
all offer their facilities"...
They're not allowed to make dates. It says here.
Really? Oh.
Well, in that case,
let's get some culture.
Now to continue.
"The great many places of historic interest
"are opened to the armed forces,
"such as the Tomb of Napoleon, Versailles"...
Jeanne: Marion! Oh!
Marion!
[Men whistling loudly]
Oh, that's fine.
You get the girl. I get the coffee.
Ha ha.
I've always hoped whenever I come in the Red Cross
that you might be in Paris.
And I finally made it.
I hope the rest of the soldiers
don't expect that with breakfast.
This is wonderful. We've got a whole day,
and you can show us around Paris, Jeannie. Here, sit down.
Mulvehill, get Jeannie a cup of coffee, will you?
You bet.
Thank you.
Chaplain: Hello, Mulvehill.
Well, hello, chaplain.
I've been looking for you.
Oh, really?
I put a call through to the battery this morning,
and everything's all fixed up.
They had you down A.W.O.L,
but I took care of it.
Thank you, chaplain. Thank you very much.
Where's Hargrove?
Hargrove?
Oh, Hargrove!
Oh, yes. Well... He didn't come down yet.
Oh, that's too bad.
I wanted to congratulate him and wish him luck.
Well, I'll tell him. I'll tell him, chaplain.
Fine. Well, enjoy yourself.
Thank you, chaplain! Thank you.
There's Hargrove now.
[Cup rattles]
Where?
And with his girl.
Well, so he is. So he is.
Let me do the talking.
For Pete's sake, don't blow up, no matter what I say.
What is the matter with you?
Hargrove, it's so good to see you up and around!
You remember the chaplain.
Oh, hello, chaplain.
Hello.
By the way, thank you very much
for getting us out of jail.
It's a pleasure to see you two together.
Oh, Jeannie, this is Chaplain Mallowy.
Jeanne: How do you do, chaplain?
Chaplain: You may not know it, my dear,
but I'm the cupid that arranged all this.
Chaplain, don't let us keep you.
Oh, no. I've plenty of time.
This fellow has been eating his heart out for you,
and now that I've met you, I can understand it.
Oh, Marion!
He's a lucky chap to have a sweetheart like you
and a friend like Mulvehill.
Oh, well, thank you, chaplain.
Yes, thank you very much, chaplain.
Tell me, have you had the wedding yet?
[Fork clatters]
Wedding?
Not yet, chaplain,
but it's all arranged,
isn't it, Hargrove?
[Voice cracks] Yeah. Yes, I guess it is.
Are you all right, Hargrove?
Oh, everything is so sudden!
I do not know what to say.
But, Marion, you do not look happy.
Oh, but he is. Look at him.
He's speechless with joy.
Is this the first you've known about this wedding, Jeannie?
Oh, yes, but it doesn't matter.
We wanted it to be a surprise, chaplain.
Yes, apparently.
Jeanne: Oh, it is a big surprise.
I do not hear from him for ever so long,
and then I just bump into him here at the Red Cross,
and still he does not mention the wedding,
and now suddenly... it must be the American way.
Fast. Very fast.
Did I say something wrong?
You men get back to your organization.
That was a shabby way to get your release last night.
But, chaplain...
get back to your battery at once. That's all.
Yes, sir.
I'm so sorry about this.
I didn't know anything about it, believe me.
What a dirty trick.
Well, you finally topped all your past performances
and finished up a double-dipped heel, didn't you?
Now, wait a minute.
I had to tell the chaplain something, didn't I?
You made a sucker out of the chaplain,
out of me, and out of Jeannie.
You had to bring her in on it, too.
Her feelings don't count. My feelings don't count.
Just as long as you can work that big flapper of yours
up and down in some complicated swindle.
Well, my fine friend...
please do not fight over it. It is all right.
It's a matter of principle.
I'm fed up with this swindler.
You thought I was pretty good last night
when I got you out of that cooler.
Oh, sure. You know, I took it for granted
there was some petty larceny involved in this.
I've gotten used to that with you,
but I also thought that there would be some things that you would stop at.
Well, I was wrong,
but, brother, I'm not going to be wrong again.
I'm going back to the battery
and take what's coming to me,
and I'm going to ask Cramp to put me in another section,
and take a tip from me... don't speak to me,
because if you do and I've got a shovel in my hand,
I'm going to swing it!
Ok, if that's the way you feel.
That's just how I feel!
Good-bye, Jeannie. I'm so sorry.
Good-bye, Marion.
I beg your pardon, miss.
Were those 2 soldiers bothering you?
No.
Is there anything I can do?
No, nothing.
I'd like to be of service if I can help.
My name is Sergeant Wolf, Sergeant John Wolf.
Wolf? You mean like the animal wolf?
Well... Yes.
You like baseball, sergeant?
Can't stand it. Bores me.
Well, sit down, Sergeant Wolf.
Hargrove, on the strength of this report,
I could throw you up to a court-martial.
What have you got to say for yourself?
It's all true, sir. We didn't intentionally go into Paris,
but it's all true otherwise.
And that's enough, no matter how you got into Paris.
What do you think, sergeant?
Well, sir, we could use him and Mulvehill
if we're moving up again tonight.
Why don't you leave them to me, captain?
I'll see they work off this rap.
All right.
Aw, thanks, sarge.
Shut up. You think I'd lift a finger for you 2 chiselers
if I'd have had time to replace you?
You haven't cleaned this up, not by a mile.
You got a long way to go,
so get out of here and report to your section.
Wait a minute.
Where is Mulvehill?
I don't know, and I don't care.
Hargrove, how did you come to go off without Mulvehill?
Don't even mention his name.
I'm through with that chiseler.
But he ain't back yet.
If we pull out without him,
he'll be grabbed for deserting. That's a big rap.
I don't care if they make it murder, arson,
or piracy on the high seas.
Anyway, he's probably back here now,
hiding somewhere while we're getting ready to move out.
That way, he gets out of doing any work.
I just checked. He isn't anywhere in the area.
Well, it's no skin off my arm.
Where are you going?
Just around.
Cramp: All right, fellas, let's get ready so we can move out fast.
You understand it... what do you want?
Could I talk to you for a minute, sarge?
Whatever it is, the answer is no.
Honest, sarge, this is very important. Could I talk to you?
All right, fellas, just stand around so we can move out fast.
Soldier: Ok.
All right, shoot.
Well, I'm a little worried about Mulvehill, sarge.
He hasn't turned up...
what do you want me to do about it?
Put a candle in my window?
Something must have happened to him.
Whatever it is won't compare
to what happens to him when he gets picked up.
They'll have him down for a deserter.
Sarge, we ought to do something.
What are you getting so worked up about?
I thought you were through with him.
Well, I am, only...
only nothing, and I don't want you
sneaking out of this camp looking for him.
That'll only get you a mess of trouble.
You got that? You stay put.
Yes, sergeant.
All right, get back to your section.
[Vehicle approaching]
[Brakes squeaking]
Hi, sarge.
I told you to stay put.
I warned you not to leave that camp.
Yeah, I know, but what if he's sick
or in some terrible trouble or something?
Look, what if you were in the same jam
or you were sick or you were wounded or something?
What do you think I'd do about it?
You'd give 3 cheers and go your own way.
That's right.
Oh, no. No, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't rest until I got to you,
no matter what it involved.
That's the spirit of the field artillery.
One for all, and all for one.
Why, greater love hath no man.
Oh, you're breaking my heart.
I can't set here jawing with you all night.
Come on. Get in.
Oh, thanks, sarge. You're a prince... For the time being.
[Big band music playing]
I got a lead, sarge.
Some guys in the club said they saw him about an hour ago
in a small restaurant near here, and he was drinking.
All this and drunk, too.
We ain't got much time.
We got to get back to that battery.
It's right down here and to your left.
I'll direct you from there.
[Speaking French]
What the heck is he saying?
I don't know.
Do you know any French?
Yeah, a little bit.
Will you give us a hand?
Sure.
What is he saying?
Qu'est-ce que vous dites?
[Speaking French]
What is he saying?
He says it sounds like the soldier
who paid for his dinner
with a half interest in an oil well in Newark.
Sounds like him. That's Mulvehill.
Ask him where he went.
Ou et il?
[Speaking French]
Where?
He says he thinks he's still somewhere in the neighborhood.
Let's go, sarge.
[M'aitre d' speaking French]
Hey, he wants to know when he can start getting some oil.
Tell him that he's got all the oil he's going to get from Mulvehill.
Hargrove, I've been in this man's army for 20 years,
and I've never been A.W.O.L. in the whole stretch,
and I don't intend to start now.
We got half an hour to get back to that battery.
Let's not waste time.
If this winds up with me getting put in jail,
oh, boy, you better watch your step.
Hargrove: Hey, sarge.
Look.
[Mulvehill laughing drunkenly]
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Come on with us.
"Come on with us."
Well, now, it's my chums.
It's my pals, my buddies!
Sarge, what are we going to do?
We can't go away and leave him.
I got an idea. Can you run?
Like a rabbit. Try me.
Lose those 2 M.P.s, and I'll pick you up at the Red Cross club.
Hey, stop that guy! He stole my watch!
Stop, thief! Stop that man!
Hey, those are my pals!
Buddies! Hey, buddies!
Come on home to papa.
Got a nice little bed for you.
There you go.
Hey, that's my chair!
I got to get my chair!
Get my chair, please!
Did Sergeant Cramp come back yet?
Or Hargrove or Mulvehill?
No, sir.
We'll roll out on schedule. They'll be dealt with later.
Yes, sir.
How's he doing? Sobering up any?
Well, some.
He's got to be able to walk
when we get back to that battery.
Back to the battery! I'll walk. I'll fly.
I'll do anything you want, pal.
Yeah, I know it, Tom.
You're my best friend.
Yeah, I know that, Tom.
You saved my life!
Yeah. Forget it, Tom.
You don't believe me, do you?
Yeah, I do.
You can have my money. You can have my wallet.
Listen, pal, you can have anything I got!
He ain't sobering up yet.
Take it easy, Tom. Take it easy.
I'm going to turn over a new man and be a whole new leaf!
Strictly on the level!
I'm going to work hard!
Why, Sergeant Cramp, what are you doing here?
Listen, no more swindles, no more deals,
no more schemes, no more angles, and no more schemes!
Man: All right, Sergeant Hill, let's go!
[Engines starting]
[Bugle playing charge]
You don't look very well.
You all right? Huh?
I'm fine.
Hey, look there, sarge!
Hey, there's a tree here!
Hey, there's a tree!
[Men shouting]
[Whistles]
Pull over! Pull that truck over there!
Come on! Let's get this thing rolling!
[Men shouting]
Where you been?!
Ok, Lupot, drive on!
Where'd you find him?
[Engine racing]
Hargrove: Everybody out, on the double!
Heave!
Heave, buddies!